Alas, I have never made that dream a reality but about a year ago I came up with the idea of doing a Jeannie inspired shoot.  I lye awake at night unable to switch off my brain, it’s in these times that I come up with my favourite ideas.  One night I was awake thinking about the details of a Jeannie shoot and I came up with a tent, sand, lots of plush pillows, a persian rug and loads of pink and orange flowers. The only hick-up was that I didn’t have any clients that suited this style of shoot.  Then a few months back I met Anne-Marie & John, I immediately thought of them when I started to revisit this concept but it wasn’t until I read their answers to my questionnaire that I knew they’d be the best candidates for this shoot.  You see John & Anne-Marie have visited the Middle East together, and have experienced the exotic wonders that I wanted to create in this shoot!  Once I knew that piece of information I told Anne-Marie about my ideas and she immediately lit up with excitement.

Over the last few months I’ve been collecting the props for the shoot.  I found the old rug in my garage, a hidden treasure that had been long forgotten.  I bought the fabric for the cushions and tent and set about working out how to sew them to match the visual I had in my head.  I mentioned to a client of mine who owns a boutique that I was after some Moroccan lanterns and asked if she knew where I could get some, she immediately pulled out a catalogue and sent me home to pour over the products inside.  It was difficult to decide between all the gorgeous products available but I finally settled on some hanging lanterns, some table top ones and 20 stars that would light a path to the Jeannie tent.

I searched high and low for the tea glasses and finally found them at my local shopping centre, while Anne-Marie collected the platters, teapot, drum and arabic pipe from her mother and a friend of hers.  Between the two of us we had almost everything that we needed.  The last element was the flowers.  I had planned on going to the markets again and making my own bouquets like I had for my vintage shoot. I knew exactly what I was after as I’d had planned on using this bouquet for the Jasmine Star Workshop but it didn’t quite turn out as planned.  At the last minute my friend Victoria suggested that I get in touch with a new florist who was opening up a store just a few minutes up the road from me.  I will admit that I was hesitant, I had already experienced the disappointment of having a florist not connect with my vision, but Victoria had such faith in this new florist Sally Thompson so I decided to let go of my control freak tendencies and trust a new kid on the block.

The days leading up to the shoot were frantic, I don’t think I can work any other way actually.  The artist in me runs on adrenalin and zero sleep, much to my own detriment at times.  But having a friend like Victoria who is a frustrated stylist like myself to bounce my ideas off helped.  While my husband, my rock, is wonderful at doing the manual labour I often feel like I have to express my grand ideas to another kindred spirit.  That kindred spirit is Victoria, and while we are working on a new and exciting venture together it was very generous of her to offer up solutions to my roadblocks.  Thanks Victoria!

People often ask me why I bother doing sessions like this and outlaying my own money for them, and the answer is multi faceted.  I love to be creative, when I was in school my elected subjects were art, drama and photography.  Over 20 years later those 3 subjects are still part of my everyday life.  I love to decorate, draw, photograph, landscape, and sew – basically I love to express myself creatively.  I used to write and direct and act in short films and submit them to festivals like Tropfest so I love to create a good ’story’ when ever I can.  My other reason for doing these sessions is to inspire my clients to think outside the box, to express themselves on their wedding day in a unique way.  But another part of me likes to break the mould, likes to come up with new and innovative ideas and push the boundaries.

The day of the shoot was perfect, I couldn’t have asked for a better day to capture this session.  The light was amazing, the location was sparse with visitors and everything came together perfectly.  Steven, Victoria and I put everything together while Ben played in the sand a few feet away.  If I wasn’t so busy making sure everything was perfect before the light disappeared it would have been a moment to savour.  Anne-Marie and John where such troopers, it was the first time they’ve had professional photos and I know for a fact that John was nervous about the session.  We moved quickly and captured as many shots as we could before the light left us and I had to photograph the glow of the lanterns before the last rays disappeared over the horizon.  Ann-Marie, John, Steven and I ran around lighting candles as the wind started to whip up and blow them out, it was a mammoth effort to keep everything alight and at one point I came close to catching my hair on fire!  A price I am not willing to pay!  LOL.

But when all was said and done and we had packed up the cars in the dark I felt a huge sigh of relief.  The shoot was exactly how I imagined it in my head, down to the very last details.  And never one to lye idle for long, I have already started planning the next concept with Victoria feeding my craziness!  Now if only I can convince her and Steven to travel to the outback with me  Stay tuned for more ideas soon!  LOL.

Anne-Marie & John, thank you so much for trusting my vision for this shoot and for being so easy to photograph.  Steven, thank you for being the muscle on the set!  Victoria thank you for helping out with setting up and hooking me up with the Florist.  Helen, thank you for ordering the lanterns especially for me, and Sally & Catherine thank you both for doing such an amazing job on the flowers!  You are all fabulous and I couldn’t have done it with out you!  xxx

Over the last few months I’ve had a steady stream of requests from photographers and I started to question them what it was they wanted to learn from me.  What it is that I am doing that they want to know how to do?  One of the things that kept coming up was how I’ve managed to grow my business while being a working Mum at home.  How do I juggle family life and handle a steady stream of clients? How do I sell from my home?  How did I get to shoot magazine covers in my first year of business and how did I start to get my weddings featured in magazines?  And surprisingly what mistakes have I made in my journey and how would I do things differently. So I started to consider that I might actually have something of real value to teach other photographers who are just starting out.  After all, I do like to have a bit of a gas bag and I’m really bad at keeping anything in!  LOL.

I started putting together my ideas for a workshop when my friend Victoria, who has had experience as a marketing manager at Pacific Publications, approached me about coming on board and helping my workshop attendees with their branding.  Not just what branding means, but actually workshopping someone’s brand, what’s good about it, what is bad about it.  And thus the ‘Nuts & Bolt’s Workshop’ was born.

Victoria and I have been working hard on getting our programme and notes perfected and have put together a website with all the information about the workshop.  In the last few weeks we have booked our first attendees for the workshop via word of mouth, but thought it would be amiss not to announce it on the blog.  We have a few spots left so if you are interested please visit the site and get in touch with us soon.

The first workshop will be on the 12th & 13th of October and will be held in my home studio.  This is a workshop specifically designed for the emerging photographer with less than 2 years experience.  And while we’ll be teaching about running a home based studio and how to get yourself out there, we will also be doing 2 styled shoots to help with your portfolio.

As an added bonus we have secured some fabulous giveaways from our sponsors Shootsac, Finao & Raw Ink!  We are really excited about meeting our first attendees and can’t wait to show you all what we have in stall for them!

A Beautiful Workshop Website

Gone are the days that I am interested in taking head shots, gone are the days where I would battle the parking dilemmas of the City.  I no longer need a cool backdrop with interesting buildings and textures that I see other photographers using, it’s the natural elements like a long grassy field and the soft glow of the sun just before sunset that beckon me.  I get caught up in the natural beauty that surrounds me.  I could be driving down the road and see a sweet pocket of light and say to myself ‘darn it, I wish I had a loved up couple in there’.  Life has become about light, specifically about backlight.   I could care less about covering a wedding in the city which sees me lining up to take photos with the other 60 newlyweds in town that afternoon.  I delight in the rural wedding, the wedding with the elegant country flair that I long for in my personal life. Growing up on acerage has left me with a deep love of the country environment and grass roots Australia, so whenever I get an opportunity to spend time with my clients in an area that allows me to freely focus on my subject in a beautiful location without distraction I’m in heaven.

And no better example of that love and passion for great light and beautiful subjects is this engagement session with Kellie and Yannick that I did several weeks ago.  We had stunning weather and sunlight that afternoon so we ventured into long grassy fields that I’d only dare to enter in the winter months, I might love the bush but I don’t like the snakes that come with it!  Kellie and Yannick are tying the knot in one of my favourite parts of New South Wales later this year, the Hunter Valley.  Yannick is possibly the tallest of my grooms so far, not only is he handsome but he’s also Canadian *swoon*.  I make no secret of having a love affair with Canada, actually just last night I had a dream that I made a last minute visit to Ontario.  Perhaps that’s because I found out a friend of mine is over there now, or perhaps it’s because my Canadian friends Brianna & Ewan just celebrated their wedding anniversary yesterday, or maybe because I heard that Melissa Etheridge might be touring there in February, I don’t know but I love all things Canadian!

Another thing that I’m excited about this wedding for is that my beautiful bride Kellie is the cousin of one of my very first brides  I love that I’ll be able to create some beautiful photos for another member of this family, and hopefully get to catch up with my previous clients at the same time.  Who could ask for more as a photographer?!?!

And here is a little something special that I will be sharing on the blog later this week, a Jeannie inspired engagement session in the sand.  Love!

I won’t be answering email or the phone at all next week so leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I return.  In the mean time here is a favourite image of a family session that I haven’t blogged yet.  I have so much blogging to do when I return!

A few months ago I made the decision to change the albums I was offering clients, most importantly I have stopped offering the traditional albums that I previously offered. The reason for this is two fold. The matted albums take a lot more time, effort and have more room for error. The other big reason is because I was constantly frustrated with the designs of these albums not reflecting my shooting and designing style. I love a clean, fresh, uncluttered album. I love to incorporate pages with lots of details and compliment them with big panoramic pages that make a statement. The only way to do this while reflecting my brand is to do it with a gorgeous flush mount album which has laminated pages for protection. But I certainly didn’t want the album to be boring or fit a cookie-cutter mould because my clients aren’t all the same. I’ve chosen an album supplier who has a variety of leathers, fabrics, colours and materials that are sure to please each and every client.

When I’m designing an album I’m conscious of the fact that this in an heirloom piece, that this is the one item a person will run into a burning building to retrieve, it’s that special.  It will be passed down to children and grand children and will be a treasured piece of history for that family. So with that said every double page I design tells one story from the wedding day, I don’t mix stories together and I make sure that every photo compliments the others. The majority of the time my designs reflect an editorial style that you would find in a high end glossy magazine.  I also want the album to stand the test of time, you’ll never find photos layered on top of another, you’ll never see faded images, word art or scrapbook elements. All those things are fads that will only serve to date an album, just like a scrapbook album from 2004 or your aunties fabric and lace covered album from 1982. *eeek*

Album design is an art, and I give it my soul.

Once we had decided to go ahead with a party at our house I began to plan all the details, first starting with the gorgeous linen finished ticket invitation.  Once I had that down, and the colour scheme worked out it all kind of fell into place.  During my downtime (not that I have much of that) I would spend hours on the internet doing research, finding items that would suit a circus party.  It wasn’t difficult to find what I was looking for, I was already familiar with a number of websites that sold all sorts of party planning goodies.  However, I must say that the Australian sites have nothing on the American ones.  I knew that I wanted a Candy Bar at the party, but finding the right items in Australia was increadibly frustrating.  So what does a girl do?  She turns to the American market and let’s the credit card become her best friend.  I did hit some road blocks though, certain sights wouldn’t let me purchase items with an Australian address and credit card, I had my heart set on having the Candy Bar colour co-ordinated with red and yellow lollies.  I found the most gorgeous red and white lollipops and yellow and white lollipops but I could not place an order, thankfully I have the most wonderful friends and my gorgeous friend Melissa came to the rescue for me.  She placed the order for the lollipops and shipped them over to me, I love her to bits for that.

Actually, while I’m on the subject of amazing people, I had lots of friends and clients who sent me things that I couldn’t find in Sydney or links to sites with something useful.  It was like everyone was excited about the party I was planning and wanted to help if they could.  My amazing friend Lanne went to Ikea to get 10 metres of fabric for my circus tent, people scoffed that I had to have curtains on my tent, but not Lanne, no she is a detail obsessed woman like myself and was more than willing to make my dream come true.  My friend Victoria, another detail crazed woman (yes we all gravitate to one another) came over and put all the bows on the lollipops for me, and listened to all my crazy ideas.  My mother came down from the mid north coast and was a huge godsend in the 2 days leading up to the party.  While I was busy cutting and sewing the bunting flags Mum stitched them together on the red fabric for me, while Steven and I were madly covering backing boards with metres of fabric my Mother was assisting with baking cake.  It truly was a team effort and a lot of fun.  But, and this is only a small but, my Mother and my husband are both salt of the earth people, once I got them together in the same room they attempted to squash my masterpieces that I had planned.  They thought I was being’over the top’.  Pfft, I already knew that!  There was one thing that didn’t get finished, I know it could have been completed in time but the two Negative Nelly’s decided that a miniature ‘Neon Boneyard’ sign was going just a little too over the top!  Can you believe that?  Come on, every circus party needs the word ‘Circus’ lit up in lights Vegas style! Duh!

Anyway, I did mange to get some of  the things I had envisaged.  A month before the party I took Steven on a trip to the local hardware store where we stocked up on 8 sheets of plywood and several lengths of timber 2×4.  I’m sure he thought I was crazy with all the ideas I told him “we are having a welcome sign over the side gate, a popcorn stand, a lolly stand, a photobooth, a games table and a circus tent”.  Yup, Steven could not see my vision, but he went along with it anyway and before long we were driving home with a boot load of hardware supplies. Over time he did begin to worry that he would be the husband that other husbands would love to hate, the one who indulged his wife with d.i.y requests!  Ha ha.

I really wanted the entrance to the party to make a huge splash, so I took inspiration from a Carnival sign that I had seen and drew out a shape for our welcome sign.  Over the period of 2 weeks I cut it out with a jigsaw, sanded it back, undercoated it, painted stripes on it, decorated it and finished it off with some hand painted lettering.  I really, really enjoyed making that sign, it had been about 7 years since I used power tools and I liked it!  Back in the old days before Steven and I were married we renovated a house from top to bottom, so I was very familiar with boys toys and it felt amazing to craft something from hand again.  I can’t recall how many times I went to the fabric store to purchase supplies for the mustaches, fabric bunting, Cassie’s skirt & headband, ice cream parlour, candy bar labels and backdrops, but it seemed like every time I went home I had forgotten something. The two nights before the party Steven and I were up till 2 or 3 am finishing off some d.i.y project and would be up at sunrise the next day to keep going.  Cassie and her friend Lisa were enlisted to do some last minute tidying up, I’m sure they thought I was mad on the day of the party, shouting orders and talking at 10 times faster than normal but they still helped me with the details that had to be taken care of.  Everything came down to the wire, I was still finishing off details as the first people were arriving for the party.  I didn’t get to straighten my hair like planned, and I only had time to remove the nail polish off one hand, but it didn’t matter.  We had done the impossible, we had created a birthday party that Benjamin would never forget and his friends would enjoy.  Did I mention the costumes?  Steven was the Clown, Cassie was the Tightrope Walker, I was the Ringmaster and Benjamin was the Lion Tamer.

But the very best part was that Ben who is normally shy and runs away from crowds, had the best day.  All his little friends had come to celebrate his birthday and together they enjoyed everything that this Circus had to offer.  They consumed loads of sugar, played games and sat intently as our Magician Peter did his magic tricks.   Actually, truth be told, the parents enjoyed the performance just as much as the kids did.  And after Ben had magically made a bird appear in his hand, and several kids had performed magic tricks of their own they enjoyed a game of pass the parcel, ate ice cream, sang happy birthday  and took silly photos in the photo booth.  Steven and I enjoyed the party more than we expected to, normally as a hostess I don’t have any fun but this was different.  My only regret is that I felt like a bride who didn’t have enough time to talk to each and every guest, but I was really grateful for everyone travelling far and wide to be there to celebrate Ben’s 5th Birthday.  Everyone had a lovely time, and at the end of the day that is exactly what I had hoped to achieve, a party that was both fun and memorable that people were excited to be at.

It was perfect and I wouldn’t have changed a thing, well except I would have had that neon sign if I could do it over again.  FYI, it is in the garage and I’m not afraid to use it should the opportunity arise in the future

Big special thanks to the following fabulous people for helping with the party.  Steven, Mum, Cassandra, Lisa, Melissa, Lanne, and Victoria.  And a special mention to Janine, who listened to all my wild and crazy ideas almost every day  Love you guys!  xxx

In the days leading up to their wedding the weather reports predicted rain, I was really bummed because I knew how special Natalie & James’s wedding was going to be and I was worried about the light especially the light in a dark church.  When I woke up that Saturday morning I woke to sunshine and lots of it and felt a huge sigh of relief for my lovely bride and groom.

As I said in a previous post, Natalie’s family are so warm and friendly, the way they welcomed me into their home and made me feel like family made the experience of capturing this wedding extra special.  Natalie is the youngest of 4 children and is the very last to leave her parent’s nest, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for Natalie’s mother and father knowing that their beautiful big home would be left with a huge void once she walked out that door to marry the man of her dreams.

Natalie & James’s ceremony was a celebration of love and a commitment to their faith.  I am not a religious person but when ever I capture a wedding based upon a deep Christian belief I love listening to the message of love that their faith holds so highly.  I have attended two weddings that Natalie and James’s Minister Ray Galea has performed and both of them were a joy to witness, he makes the ceremony personable and entertaining and enjoyable for an outsider to listen to.

After the ceremony we had about 40 minutes for photos, unfortunately the golden sunlight had been replaced with dark clouds and the lovely afternoon light I adore so much made way for a darker, moodier light.  But all wasn’t bad, this light did make the greens of the gardens pop and everything looked like a version of the Biblical Garden of Eden, crisp and cool but filled with colour and beauty.

I really enjoyed capturing this wedding, it was a welcome relief from the daily grind of editing and album designing during the off wedding season.  Natalie and James, thank you so much for sharing your day with me, I wish you both a lifetime filled with love, joy and happiness.  xxx

I think I must be getting clucky, 2 nights ago I had a dream that I was pregnant and could grab my baby’s foot via my pregnant belly.  In my dream it was a little boy and I was excited about that, surprising really because I do long for a baby girl sometimes.  Perhaps it was because little Ben turned 5, or perhaps my body is telling me time is running out but I woke up thinking it wouldn’t be so bad to have another baby. But then the memories of pregnancy and childbirth come flooding back and I put those thoughts to the the back of my mind.  LOL.  I don’t know why I’m sharing this, I just thought it was a weird dream to have.

Anyway, here are a few of my favourite shots of little James, isn’t he cute!

It had been a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage symptoms since week 5, 2 cm dilated at 22 weeks, hundreds of braxton hicks contractions per day since week 18.  The technical terms were ‘Incompetent cervix and over active uterus’.  Yes I know, too much information!  It was touch and go and my doctor couldn’t guarantee a live birth so we didn’t tell everyone that we knew about our pregnancy.  I had already had several miscarriages before and I didn’t want to get my hopes up to have the worst happen.  At week 15 I found out I had a genetic blood disorder which caused blood clots, awesome – visions of having a brain hemmorhage like my birth mother suffered plagued my every waking thought!  Every pain in my legs was in my mind a life threatening blood clot.  My pregnancy was stressful to say the very least.  By week 34 I was well and truly over it, every time I went to lye down the baby would move which made my contractions start up and I would be unable to sleep properly though them.  The day of my 34 week check up I was very emotional from lack of sleep, or so I thought.  I asked my doctor if I could have the baby that day, he smiled at me and quipped ‘I’ll have to email the Queen’.  I took that as a no and went on my merry little way.

That day was during the second week of school holidays and Steven and Cassandra had come along for the ride to the hospital.  On the way home Cass and Steven said they were hungry and Cass asked if she could go to McDonalds.  I thought about it for a second and then considered that it might be one of the last times we could just decided to do something because we could.  Those parents amongst you will understand what I mean, you just can’t do things at a moments notice when a baby is around.  So, I said it would be okay.  Normally we’d go through drive through, but with my current train of thought I decided that we should go in and sit down because, well because we could.

McDonald’s that day was rather busy, it was towards the end of the  lunch time rush during school holidays after all.   Steven, Cass and I had just sat down at our table when I felt a ‘pop’.  I froze terrified that my waters had just broken, sure enough seconds later there was what can only be described as a waterfall of liquds pouring over my seat.  I.was.mortified!  MORTIFIED!  I quickly tried to run to the bathroom but it was full, absolutely embarrassed I started to scream for Steven to ‘get me out of here’.  Oh boy, it was chaos!

Then panic set in, my baby wasn’t due for another 6 weeks!  He was supposed to share my birthday!  Will he be okay?  I was terrified.  Poor Steven was pailer than white paint as I screamed at him to get me to the hospital.  The drive to the hospital was a long, windy, goat track that only locals and the brave dared to drive.  We were locals so we had driven this road many times, however in his utter state of panic Steven was unwilling to take me through the Gorge.  I begged him to, but he was worried I’d deliver on the side of a cliff. LOL.

As luck would have it an Ambulance was pulling into the neighbouring Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, Cass ran out and told them of our dilema, they were on route to a previously booked job but sent for back up.  It was a long wait for that back-up to arrive, and when it did arrive it wasn’t the usual fully fitted out Ambulance with all the bells and whistles, instead it was a patient transport vehicle.  My mothering instinct was in full swing by this time and I was NOT impressed.  I could have been at the hospital by this point and could have been on a monitor hearing the beat of my premature baby’s heart!  Instead I had to suffer the long trip around the Gorge – not through it – in peak hour traffic without any equipment.  I honestly don’t think I was very nice to those poor Ambulance officers, I wanted the screaming siren and the flashing lights which would promise me a quicker trip to the emergency room.  I wanted to know that my baby was going to be okay.

Eventually we arrived and I was wheeled into a room with a very nice nurse.  A sense of relief came over Steven and I as we heard the tiny heart beat and were reassured by the nurses.  My nurse was lovely, a welcome presence in the room.  The Doctors suggested that my baby could go to full term, that I may have to stay in bed for 6 weeks until I could deliver at 40 weeks.  But I knew my body better.  My body that always delivers a baby within 4 hours, my body that was ready to deliver.  Still, they were the experts and I had to consider their opinions.

It wasn’t long before those annoyingly painful Braxton Hicks contractions made way for the ‘I want to kill myself’ contractions.  Yes, you heard right.  I don’t do pain, pain and I are NOT friends, so every time I give birth I inevitably get to the point where I’m asking for a mercy killing to spare me any more pain.  I know, I know, some of you reading this think it’s not SO bad, but not where I’m coming from.  Not the 4 hour labour, that is intense and relentless.  Anywhoo, back to the pain, the pain of it all, and the drugs.  Oh the drugs.  Gas does a funny thing to you, it doesn’t really take away the pain, it just kind of takes your head to Woodstock circa 1969. And my head was certainly somewhere else that night, I would hear Steven say ‘are you alright babe’ and it would echo from my left ear, right across the middle of my brain and to my right ear, it would take about 6 echos before I’d hear it in my right ear and I really found that amusing.  Ah the memories.

About this time I had my lovely nurse leave and the nurse from hell arrived to take her position.  The nurse who didn’t believe me when I was pushing, she thought my screams were an over reaction and that I still had hours, if not day’s to go.  Apparently the look on her face when I was ready to deliver was priceless, had I not been revisiting 1969 at that time I might have some recollection of the panic that ensued when she discovered my baby entering the world.  Before long little Benjamin entered the room and was as abruptly whisked away from me.

Steven and I waited in that delivery room for 45 minutes without word from any nurse or doctor, we had no idea if our baby was okay.  As soon as I was able to stand I got up and walked down the corridor to the nursery to see if I could find a nurse to help me, I was abruptly told to leave, that they were still working on our baby.  It was the worst thing ever to be told to go away, to be left alone in a room without any word about my baby.  Steven and I sat in silence for another half hour, too frightened to consider the reality of the situation.

Eventually we were told that we could see our son, that he was hooked up to monitors and was breathing.  He needed to be resusitated after his birth and was on oxygen so his tiny underdeveloped lungs could provide him with the necessary air for him to survive.  Steven and I sat at his cot all day, not wanting to leave for a second.

Benjamin was a fighter, he was big for his age.  2.5 kilos to be exact, about double the size of the other baby’s born that week of the same age.  When he was just 14 hours old I was advised by the nurses that they would need my room and I would have to leave the hospital.  I could not comprehend this information at all, what did they just say?  They want me to leave my baby?  My baby that I haven’t held yet?  My baby that nearly died 14 hours earlier?  What?  I remembered back to the time when I had given birth to James and Cassandra, the policy was to stay in hospital for 5 days.  How could they be asking this of me, a mother with a premature baby?  Were they confused and uninformed of the situation?  Well the answer to that was no.  They were fully aware that I had not yet held my baby in my arms, they were fully aware that my baby was not out of the woods and yet they still wanted me to go home that day.  Good old Hornsby Hospital.

This is where I get a little bit emotional, this is where I start to raise my voice.  But I am met with ‘go home and go out to dinner with your husband, have a romantic dinner, enjoy a sleep-in’.  Holly cow, who are these health care professionals?  Unbelievable.  Anyway, so now the nurses are convinced, convinced that I have post natal depression. What?  No, I’m fine, I just want to be with my baby thank you very much.  Needless to say that I wasn’t treated very well, especially after I mentioned calling a certain media programme, but I did get to stay in the hospital with my baby for a week.  Apparently there is a ‘family room’ for patients who have to stay with their babies but they didn’t want to open the bed up.

Anyway, when Ben was 20 hours old Steven and I were permitted to have our first cuddle. He was tiny, much smaller than my other babies.  Over the next 3 weeks I would sit in the room with Benjamin all day and all night.  The day I was discharged was not a good day for me, we lived over half an hour from the hospital and that windy, dangerous drive was comparable to the Grand Canyon in my mind, a huge crevasse between me and my baby.  Ben spent 2 1/2 weeks in a humidcrib, what started out as 1 row of lights ended up resembling a fully encased personal sun tanning bed. LOL.  During his 3 week stay in hospital we saw several premature babies arrive, some sadly didn’t make it, to witness that twice was possibly the worst thing I’ve ever had to see.  To watch another family loose their beloved baby was painful, painful because I felt so badly for them but also because I felt guilty as well.

When we were finally allowed to bring Benjamin home we were elated, it was the best news ever.  But the stress of the pregnancy and the drama that unfolded after Ben’s birth damaged my body in ways that I wouldn’t know about for almost a year.  Little did I know that my body was waging a war on itself and I had developed an auto immune disease which left me an emotional wreck and with such an irregular heart beat that I literally thought I was going to die.

On my 34th Birthday I celebrated what would have been mine and Benjamin’s birthday by having our newborn photos taken.  The significance to me is really important, looking at those photos which adorn our walls remind me firstly that Ben was actually day zero in those photos, and that had he gone to full term we would have shared our special day together.  I had already planned an induction for that date, sadly for me it wasn’t meant to be.  But in the end Steven and I have been blessed with a very healthy child, well apart from the asthma attacks, ear infections and croup!  Ben has been in the 110 percentile since he was 8 weeks old.  That little porker was over 10 pounds on his due date, every time we visited the Pediatrician he would ask me if big people ran in my family and how much he was being fed.  This week I had a little giggle to myself when I saw a growth chart on the wall at his daycare, out of 31 children in his group Benjamin was the tallest by over an inch!  Yes, he sure has come a long way from that tiny little man who came into the world 6 weeks early!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I have only been inside that McDonald’s once since the day I started a waterfall in the store, and that was 4 years after the event!  I don’t think anyone recognised me…….

Happy Birthday Benny, I love you to the moon and back again.  Mumma xxx

Steven’s first cuddleCassandra’s first cuddle

A spot of sunbaking….He sunbaked for about 2 weeks…..Finally he got to come home……and daddy couldn’t get enough of him……
and mummy couldn’t stop taking photos of his cuteness……
she spent a fortune on film and developing in those days……and the rest, as they say, is history!